My Story: How to Turn Your Life Around

February for me marks an anniversary of sorts – it was when my life changed completely. I’m going to tell you my story because I think there’s much to be learned from it. I’ll also do my best to paint a before and after picture of my life – and if there’s enough demand I might even post before and after pictures of the visible changes I went through. So I will begin by introducing how I was at the time. Journey with me – I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

A year ago I was a totally different person. I was overweight (about 220 lbs). I was self absorbed. I was selfish. I only existed for myself – everything I did was self-gratifying. I spent huge amounts of my time playing video games instead of doing anything constructive. I consistently indulged myself in whatever vice pleased me at the time. In essence, I was a literal waste of oxygen. I made enemies, and separated myself from those who would be friends. I took offense at others for transgressions both real and imagined. I did not forget offenses, nor did I forgive. I was cold, manipulative, and heartless. I blamed others for my mistakes, and took others credit. And I was depressed. I was filled with self loathing, and despised myself for everything I did every day. But I had no idea how to change. I wasted three years this way. I don’t really sound like the kind of person you’d want to be friends with, right?

So how did I change? To be honest, the change was accidental. At this time a year ago, I was at the lowest I think I have ever been. My girlfriend at the time cheated on me and dumped me. I was the only American I knew in a foreign country. Four of the people I had been spending my time with (I considered them friends at the time, but I know now this wasn’t the case) abruptly stopped talking to me. I was out of touch with my family back in the states. I was sick (enough to feel bad, but not enough to need a hospital visit thankfully). I also had no money. In the depths of winter I was truly and completely friendless, alone, and penniless in a foreign land. I blamed myself for this situation, and fell into a deep, dark depression. At first my sleep schedule changed so that I was awake when everyone else was asleep. But as my depression worsened, I found myself unable to sleep. I was spending 24, 48, and occasionally even 72 hours consecutively awake. But despite this insomnia I was exhausted, and all I wanted was to sleep till this feeling of crushing anxiety and depression left me. So what did I do?

I ran. At the start, I was exhausted from only 15 minutes of running. I ran until I was exhausted every day, but every day I ran a little further. First it was only about an arm’s length. Then I was running to the next telephone pole. Eventually I found myself running 1 mile, then 2, then four miles a day. Since I was tiring myself out, my sleep schedule was swiftly corrected. Most likely the endorphins acted to counter some of the depression. Suddenly I noticed compliments on how I was looking. Eventually I looked at myself in a mirror – and didn’t recognize myself in it. Over the course of about a month, I lost 40 lbs, just from running. This is when I realized that self respect and confidence aside, how you look effects how people treat you. And at this point lots of people were treating me very well.

This was also when I realized my personality had changed. By this time I had realized how big a metamorphosis I had endured. And I realized that had I not entered such a low point in my life, this positive change would not have happened. In fact, the people who I felt betrayed me were in fact responsible for all of the good things that were happening to me at the time (and which have happened since). As they say, every cloud has its silver lining. I found myself much more optimistic – I had a better view on life, and found that I was actually happy, perhaps for the first time in my life.

Another important change I made was to befriend someone I had considered an enemy. We had been antagonistic to each other for quite some time, and for the longest time I had thought that he was just an asshole. I made an important realization though – I had been an asshole too. No one can just become your enemy – you have to make enemies. It takes two to tango. If I had realized earlier his good points instead of just being blinded by small flaws we all have, I might have been friends with him earlier. So what did I do? First, I apologized for being an asshole to him. I then forgave him for what little he had done to me. And we became friends – true friends, not like most of my relationships before that point. At first it was admittedly a very uneasy friendship, but one which has grown over time. Now he is one of my closest friends, despite an ocean between us. And thanks to his friendship I grew even more. He held me accountable for what I did, leading me to devote myself to my studies -we had a constant good-natured rivalry from that point forward. I never beat him, but I did much better from that point forward. He also helped me change my image – I went from dressing badly to dressing appropriately, in a style that suited me. With his help my metamorphosis completed itself.

This long road I travelled was difficult, but incredibly rewarding. And it reinforces my concept of karma – do good unto others and good will come unto you. Do evil and you will receive evil in return. Endure evil, and eventually rewards will come. So now I charge you: if you aren’t happy about yourself, improve yourself. Try these concise points:

1. Exercise. You’ll feel better, and you will respect yourself more.

2. Be optimistic. Even the worst times (especially the worst times) are the times and places when you can make the biggest and best changes in your life or someone else’s.

3. Apologize to someone who you have wronged. It may be tough, but you’ll feel better about yourself afterwards.

4. Forgive someone who has wronged you. They probably didn’t mean offense anyway. If they did, they probably need a friend very badly.

5. Dress for success. People judge you based on how you look – and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just what people do, a survival thing.

6. Learn to love yourself. You deserve it!

So don’t wait until tomorrow – get out into the world and start making it better for yourself and others!