Improving your Self Confidence Part 2

This is a continuation of an earlier post entitled “Improving your Self Confidence.” Let’s continue shall we?

Be Comfortable With Yourself. I really should also entitle this “get used to being embarrassed,” since that’s one of the hallmarks of true self confidence. Most people avoid confrontation, sticky situations, and any form of social awkwardness. Part of having confidence is that you’re acclimated to these situations. If someone else puts you in an embarrassing situation, you can shrug off the embarrassment, since it’s something you’re used to. At this point, any time a potentially strange or awkward situation occurs, you’re given a choice. Most of the time, due to fear of awkwardness, one or more choices in a situation is made unavailable. Instead of being limited this way, you can rush headlong into the situation or sidestep, depending on the nuances of the situation. Please, though, don’t misunderstand this. Please don’t go out and make an ass of yourself. In this case you may have the confidence, but that doesn’t stop you from being a jackass. And that just isn’t cool.

Stop Caring About What Others Think About You. Most people are just afraid. And I mean that literally – fear consumes so many people’s lives – fear of the unknown, of poverty, of strangeness -everything is feared by someone. And this fear makes many of them lash out at other people. One of the biggest fears, passed on by our genes, is fear of the unfamiliar. “Safe” is what most people end up striving for – but part of self confidence is leaving this zone of feeling and appearing “safe.” As a result, people will judge you. A large portion of this judgment will come from the fact that deep down, they are jealous. They will wish they said that, did that, knew that person, or wore those cloths. And this jealousy will cause them to act in a way so as to limit you. Have you ever seen a large container full of crabs? All it takes to keep all the crabs in is to have a small rim, because any crabs at the top who try to get out will be pulled back in by the crabs beneath them. Don’t listen to the people who do this, and please don’t become this kind of person. In the words of my friend, “Remember, any time someone does evil to you, it’s only because of jealousy.” But counterpointing this, do your best to find a few friends who can provide honest unbiased criticism – this will help you grow.

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